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I was effectively left with three shitty options. The trick would be finding a way to get it on there so that I could both control the thing and not feel a lot of discomfort. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. This happened a lot, but like most people who suffer from phantom limb, it gets better with time. Sitting down is also rough, since with only the stub left, pee flies out at an angle that somehow manages to hit the back of the toilet. Well, not condom-style protection. Phalloplasty is an option, but it's stupidly expensive, I'd need to disfigure another part of my body in order to get the necessary skin and tissue, and it would be just be an odd lump.

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Ever notice how people will say "punched in the dick" and "punched in the balls" interchangeably. First off, you have to learn to pee all over again. Well, not condom-style protection. It turns out that my ex-penis has the same problem. Other times, it feels like it is there, but with a tingling sensation not unlike the feeling of your foot falling asleep. Add me to the weekly Newsletter.

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Maybe codpieces will come back in style soon. And they don't have to wear one all day, every day. All of the changes to my personality can be traced back to my penectomy isn't that just the worst word. Giovanni Battista Moroni Past time, if you ask me. He had to double-check his charts -- he'd accidentally marked me down as a woman at the beginning of the physical despite my beard and distinct lack of boobs. This happened a lot, but like most people who suffer from phantom limb, it gets better with time.

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Description: Let's take a look at the wildest guesses scientists have made about who's going to probe us one day. When I visited the doctor about this, he said that the best option was a jockstrap and a protective cup like the ones athletes use. Well, not condom-style protection. One arm amputee I talked to prior to the surgery said his missing arm felt like it was constantly broken. Ask any baseball player -- that little sonovabitch is going to chafe. Add me to the daily newsletter. The male urethra is angled to go out in front, but with no penis, suddenly you've got a spray that's more like what you'd get from a busted water line.
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